


You Are My Heart

by Sid_Loves_Andy



Series: The Adventures of Young Peter Quill and the Ravagers [1]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
Genre: Childhood Memories, Infertility, Kid Fic, M/M, Miscarriages, Peter's Childhood Wasn't As Sucky As It Seemed, implied past mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-09
Updated: 2014-08-09
Packaged: 2018-02-12 10:00:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2105478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sid_Loves_Andy/pseuds/Sid_Loves_Andy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter's childhood with the Ravagers was not as horrible as the other Guardians have come to believe. </p>
<p>Peter recalls his first few days with the Ravagers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Are My Heart

It took Yondu approximately fifteen minutes from the time young Peter boarded their ship to decide to go against orders and keep him.

He was a teary-eyed, slobbering, mess of a child, and the others could smell the fear and apprehension that filled the air around his shivering body. They'd never tasted Terran meat before, and the terror emanating off of the boy practically had them salivating. If Kraglin had not stepped forward, Yondu did not doubt that it would have taken  _seconds_ for the Ravagers to decide how to divide the meal between them and act upon these carnal, cannibalistic desires. 

Kraglin knelt down before the boy, who refused to meet the pirate's eyes. Yondu watched as Kraglin inspected the child with careful eyes, the nonjudgmental eyes of a would-be parent. And then, with surprisingly uncharacteristic gentleness, he extended a hand toward the little boy. He flinched away, as if expecting to be struck. But when the hand remained, perfectly still, fingers curled slightly in silent offering, the heavy scent of fear slowly dissipated into nothingness... the child took his hand.

"What's your name, kid?" Kraglin asked, lifting the boy slightly and placing him on his lap.

A big, shaky fist came up to wipe the still flowing tears from his eyes. "P-Peter."

"Well, Peter, I am Kraglin." Peter made a rather lousy attempt at pronouncing Kraglin's name, but it was a start, and it was better than crying. "And these are the Ravagers."

His eyes widened and suddenly, that uneasiness returned. "You mean... sp-space p-p-pirates?"

Those lecherous grins returned, and Peter's uneasiness grew. Without really comprehending what he was doing, he reached forward and twisted Kraglin's shirt in his fists, pulling himself closer to the First Mate for protection. Nothing good could come of association with space pirates. And what did they want with him, anyhow? Surely he meant more to them than a meal! Kraglin rose, Peter gripped tightly to him. The others saw this, and stood down.

"Let's get you cleaned up some. You're a mess, Peter." Peter motioned over Kraglin's shoulder, to the gluttonous crew. "Don't worry about them. You're safe, now. Captain's orders." And then, Peter turned to Yondu. Their eyes met momentarily and Peter felt a flash of terror shoot down his spine.

Yondu then came from the corner, looking about at his men with unquestioned authority. "The boy ain't to be touched. We have a contract to make good on, boys. I ain't expectin' to have to tell you to keep your dirty paws off the merchandise."

"Yondu..." Kraglin said softly, the boy in his arms beginning to drift as the first vestiges of exhaustion washed over him.

Yondu nodded, but said nothing more. He knew full-well what it was for Kraglin to be holding the little boy, how much it must hurt his mate to see and feel the instant connection the child had made with him. Kraglin shifted the boy to his right side, using his left to punch in the code to unlock the security doors. By the time the doors slid open with a soft  _swoosh_ , Peter was out cold and Yondu realized that he couldn't fulfill his contract with the boy's father.

For now, at least, the boy would stay.

* * *

"You're really nice, mister." Peter announced suddenly, after having been painfully silent as Kraglin cleaned the dried tears and sweat off his little body.

Kraglin paused. 'Nice' wasn't a word he ever thought he'd associate with himself. But somehow, it was different coming from the innocent lips of this poor, confused child. He settled on, "I told you, I am Kraglin. Mister is for old folks... like Yondu."

That actually elicited a giggle from the little boy. He played with the water for a little bit, sloshing it from side to side, and then, "Do you have any kids, mis- Kraglin?"

Kraglin froze, the washcloth in his hand stopping to rest between Peter's tiny shoulder blades. He looked down at the little boy who splashed playfully in the water, suddenly thankful for the distraction that it was providing. He was only a young child, blissfully unaware of the implications of what he'd just asked. It took a minute for him to regain control over himself - he didn't want to snap or say the wrong thing, because kid's curiosity needed to be  _fostered_ , and yelling at him would just scare him.

"I almost had kids." Kraglin answered finally, choosing his words very carefully. 

Peter looked at him, confused. "What do you mean? You can't  _almost_ have a baby." He said, matter-of-fact. 

Kraglin took a deep breath, before elaborating, "I'm sure that you're aware that there are many species in this universe." Peter nodded excitedly. Intergalactic studies had always been his favorite class in school. "Well, sometimes, those species cross-breed. Do you know what that means?"

"Like the liger!" Peter said excitedly. Memories flashed before his eyes of when his mom was healthy and she'd take him to the zoo. They'd spend the day petting the baby animals and seeing the reptiles and watching the big cats walk over simulated African terrain. "It's a cross between a lion and a tiger." He said proudly.

"Yes, like the liger, then." Even if he hadn't the slightest about what a 'liger' actually was. "Except sometimes, cross-breeding fails. Either the newly created species doesn't prosper, or it doesn't make it into the world at all."

He remembered the first child, a little boy. At that point, they hadn't even known that Kraglin could get pregnant, and both were well aware that their suitability for fatherhood was next to zero and that no child should be raised in the distant corners of space. They hadn't even discovered the pregnancy until Kraglin had caught a nasty bug on a solo mission that took him out of commission for two weeks. The news of the pregnancy had come from the blood test they'd taken.

It was like the discovery of the pregnancy had awakened something inside of him, something he'd previously been unaware of. Now aware of the growing life within him, he suddenly wondered how he ever thought he could continue on  _without_ a child. There was just something about that primal  _want_ inside of him, awakened by dreams of baby's laughter and first words, that was impossible to convey to someone that had never experienced such a complete 180.

Yondu had been against it... at first. He hadn't come around to the idea quickly, like Kraglin had.  _His_ 180 had come from seeing how attached Kraglin had become to the still-growing fetus, and before he knew it, he was being presented with an intergalactic-themed nursery for their little one. Not three days later, he'd miscarried. The ship's medic explained that the make-up of their respective species were too different to successfully create a healthy fetus. They were like a mouse and an elephant. 

"I almost had a little boy, like you. Except my partner and I... we were very different. So different that we couldn't create a 'liger'." He tried to put it into words that the little boy would understand. "The baby died in here." He placed a hand on his flat stomach. 

"Oh." Peter looked sad as he stared at Kraglin's belly. 

Kraglin sucked in a deep breath, and continued, "But by then I  _really_ wanted a baby." And he'd ignored the medic's warning against trying to get pregnant a second time. "The second time it was a little girl. I even had a name picked out for her. Do you want to know what it was?"

After a moment, Peter nodded slowly. "Yeah."

"Gaea." He paused. "I was going to name her Gaea." He was far enough along to have a name picked out for her, to have his hopes out for her... and then, he'd lost her. "She died in here, too. And now, I can't have any more babies."

Infertility was a kind of unbearable suffering when paired with a miscarriage on a high-risk pregnancy. He'd known that it was an incredibly prevalent possibility, but had never once dreamed that it could become reality. He wanted a baby above all else, wanted to be able to share that with Yondu, and to know that he couldn't created a hurt worse than he'd ever experienced. But he hid it behind a cocky smile and clouded eyes, and shared the pain with no-one. He didn't even know why he'd shared it with Peter.

"I'm sorry." Peter said. Now it was Kraglin's turn to look uncertain - what on earth did the boy think  _he_ had to apologize for?

"No reason to be sorry, kid." He felt the water. "But your water's gettin' cold. Here," he grabbed a towel and motioned for the boy to stand up, wrapping it around the boy's thin body. He was a  _stick_... they'd have to do something to change that. "And nows time for the littlun to hit the hay."

"They won't," he looked around uneasily, as if they were being watched at that very moment. "They won't try to eat me while I'm sleeping, will they?"

Kraglin had to fight the urge to laugh. "No, they won't try to eat you. Yondu won't let them."

* * *

For the most part, Peter liked to spend his time alone.

He was still very obviously terrified of the Ravagers. He was clearly uneasy that the only thing that stood between his bed in the tattered remains of the nursery and his being served for dinner was a captain that he didn't fully trust. They still hadn't told him why they'd taken him aboard their ship, but he'd heard them arguing about his presence aboard more than once. There always seemed to be one name that stopped the argument dead in it's tracks: Kraglin.

He was listening to his Awesome Mix Tape Vol. I, curled under the table that housed the tactical map, when Yondu and Kraglin entered. He was half tempted to turn his music louder and curl up tighter, because he didn't want to be here, he wanted to go home, and if they were talking about how to cook him for dinner, he didn't want to know if he was going to be served up rare or medium well. But going against that inclination, he turned off the music and slowly peeled off the headphones.

"...I'm a man of my word, Kraglin. Out here in this side of the quadrant, all a man's got is his word. I ain't reneged on a contract since 1978," here, he pulled his coat aside, proudly displaying an ugly, ragged scar that jutted from just about his hipbone. "I ain't inclined to find out what that crazy SOB will do if we don't deliver."

"I know. Honestly. You don't have to keep reminding me." Kraglin sounded dejected, and perhaps even a little bit hurt. 

"I don't understand what you see in that Terran runt anyhow." Yondu snapped.

Kraglin recoiled a little and Peter felt bad, listening to the captain verbally abuse the only member of the crew who had actually been  _nice_ to him. But still, he remained safely beneath the table, listening as Kraglin snapped back, "He's a little boy that got abducted by pirates that want to  _eat_ him! He's  _terrified_!"

"That ain't our problem." Yondu continued. "We deliver him as planned and we get our money."

"I refuse to be part of handing him over to that monster." Peter swallowed hard. Monster? So there were worse creatures out there than these guys?

"Kraglin... just because you're barren doesn't mean that we can take in every stray we cross paths with." This earned a dark glare from Kraglin. He hurriedly amended, "Imagine if he comes and hunts him down, huh? We'll all be dead."

But Kraglin was no longer listening. Peter didn't fully understand what 'barren' meant, but he knew that Kraglin had seemed rather upset by it when they'd talked about it the other day, and that made Yondu's carelessness not okay. There was a sniffle, and it must have come from Kraglin, because Peter could see Yondu run a hand over his face in exasperation. Clearly, this was not unfolding as he thought it would. He reached out to where Peter assumed Kraglin would be, only to be brutally rejected.

"We'll keep him for now, okay? I already told you we could keep him, and like I said, I'm a man of my word. But I ain't gonna be held responsible for what happens after the fact." Yondu said. "But I ain't gonna guarantee he'll be here forever. If our employer comes callin' -,"

Kraglin looked at him disgustedly. "Don't try to justify what you said to me."

There was another sniffle, this one forced down in angry frustration. Yondu sighed. "Don't cry..."

"He deserves a permanent home. We might not be the most qualified, true enough, but you cannot rightly expect me to lose another one. Not again." Kraglin said.

"I ain't gonna promise him a permanent home with you, then take him away." Yondu said, his voice becoming stiff again. "I ain't gonna lie to you." His voice became softer. He took Kraglin's hand, and the brunette alien reluctantly allowed him to do so. "I can't, in good conscience, betray you like that."

Kraglin looked at him, unperturbed. "You don't have a conscience."

They kissed, and it was hard and brutal and not comforting in the least. Kraglin's salty tears fell down and mingled into the kiss, giving it a salty taste. Peter's face scrunched up and he resisted the urge to let out a long 'eww'. But then, Kraglin yanked himself away, storming off without once looking back. Yondu cursed under his breath, running a hand over his face again. And then, he knocked on the table.

"You can come out now, kid."

Peter's blood ran cold, but nonetheless, he felt his feet slowly sliding underneath him and his hands pushing his body up into the air. Slowly coming to face Yondu, he held his cassette player protectively to his chest. "S-Sir?"

Yondu could smell the fear emanating off of the child, and smirked slightly. Maybe the boy could be molded after all. "You ever want to be a pirate, kid?"

* * *

For the next few days, Peter was allowed to sleep in the captain's quarters while Yondu served out his sentence on the metaphorical 'couch' - the nursery that had never needed to be used. There was an undeniable bond forming between Peter and Kraglin, even if the little boy had only known the alien for a few days. He knew that Kraglin was looking out for him, and in return... he felt that he could trust him.

He'd had his nightly bath and wrapped Peter up in his towel, and he handed an big black t-shirt to the kid. With the lack of shame that was common of a young child, he dropped the towel and pulled the t-shirt over his head. Kraglin dressed in loose, white cotton pants and no shirt. They sat down on the bed together and Kraglin handed the little boy a comb. He worked it through his hair with some difficulty. His hair had become fairly knotted after a week of not washing it.

"I... um..." Peter had started strong, but then he drifted off uneasily. "My Mommy... she... when I left... she left too." Kraglin understood perfectly, but Peter continued to ramble, "She's gone... I just... I guess what I'm trying to say is... if I'm going to be staying for awhile..."

"Peter..." he trailed off, eyes widening as he realized what it was that Peter was trying to say.

"Life is a lot less lonely with family." Peter finally forced out. "I know you're not my Mommy, and I know I'm not your son, but..."

"But family isn't always about blood." Kraglin finished for him.

And that was what they would be: family. When Yondu came by later, peering inside to make sure that everybody was safely in bed, he found Peter curled up tightly against Kraglin's chest, and a small smile on the alien's face. It seemed that he really would have to make a space pirate out of the boy - because his mate wasn't about to part with him any time soon. And that was okay, because, deep down - he kinda liked the boy too.  

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> And if any of you all are interested, this pairing was inspired by a prompt at the LJ-based Guardians of the Galaxy kink meme. Be sure to check it out! http://guardian-kink.livejournal.com/1806.html
> 
> Please let me know what you thought of this one-shot!


End file.
